Coucou !

C’est le 23 décembre. Le décompte a commencé. The countdown has begun. With less than 48 hours until Christmas, les Français se dépêchent pour finaliser leurs achats. The French are in a hurry to finish their shopping.

If you’re brave enough to go out today, expect a war zone in le rayon foie gras et des queues interminables pour les huîtres chez la poissonnerie. But the greatest danger? That may still lie ahead, as emergency room trips spike in France on Dec 24. In today’s edition, you’ll learn why.

On y va ?

C’est mon premier Noël en France. And I have to be honest. I didn't know much about how this holiday is celebrated here. Mais ça a changé vite ces derniers jours ! Between the crowds and the sheer volume of food, it's a sensory overload.

Everywhere you look, there's evidence of the feast. Des calendriers de l’Avent in every window, des bûches de Noël in every bakery, and le foie gras in every variety imaginable. Aux figues. Au piment d’Espelette. Même truffé !

But the real star? Les huîtres. During this week, the French consume nearly half of their annual oyster production. But there’s a problem. Someone has to open them. And that someone often winds up being your uncle Antoine after a few glasses of champagne. Et ça, ça ne fait pas bon ménage !

Every year, thousands of amateur shuckers end up in the emergency room with an oyster-related injury. Le traumatisme de l’huître. In France, it’s not officially the holidays until someone has a bandaged thumb or a glass of Champagne. Ou les deux !

Let’s check in on a French Christmas celebration where one family member is a little too confident in their oyster-shucking ability:

Lucille : Tu es sûr que tu sais faire ? C’est dur, non ?

Franck : Mais oui. C’est mon boulot chaque année. Regarde bien.

Lucille : Attention ! Le couteau a glissé.

Franck : P*tain. Ça saigne.

Lucille : Allez, laisse-moi regarder.

Franck : Ce n’est rien de grave. Je vais le rincer vite fait, et on continue.

Lucille : Non, non, non. Donne-moi le couteau. Sinon on va finir aux urgences ce soir.

Franck : Fait gaffe, hein ? C’est dangereux, les traditions de Noël.

Last week, we talked traits d’union but we saved the most useful category for last. Les noms composés. Compound nouns.

Specifically, the verbe-plus-nom formula. Since it’s the holidays, we thought we’d share a few words you might find particulièrement utile ces jours-ci.

Here’s a pro tip. Even if the noun is feminine (like la noisette), these compound words are almost always masculine.

Oyster-shucking “experts” in the emergency room on Thursday:

🎄 Watch: Le grand débat de Noël

🎁 Read: La moitié des Français n'a pas honte

Mustafa pense-t-il que la sécurité au Louvre s'est améliorée ?

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜️ Non, pas du tout (83%)

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Oui, clairement (0%)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ On ne sait pas (17%)